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1970 season / Premiere February 14th / last show May 30th / time period 6 PM / color

Opening theme: "Music To Lead Cavalry Charges By"
Closing theme: "Bozo's Back"

PROGRAM #1: "Rock of Ages" lip sync of rock oldie featuring Bruce and the Universal Joints performing "Bucket T;" "Miss Persnickety's Story House" kiddie show parody and the animated film story of "The Enchanted Snowman;" "The Creation of the Cast" film; Episode of western serial "Rex Noble: Cowpoke;" and parody of public service announcement for "Cretin Registration Month."

PROGRAM #2: Parody of critical and public reaction to show's premiere: film of delapidated bridges accompanied by "Bridge Over Troubled Waters;" performance by rock group Zagfield; parody of public service announcement for "save Our Rats";

PROGRAM #3: "Favorite Things" commercial parody for Mungrin; the Cretin Track Meet; performance by folksinger; animated film of "The Burp;" "Rock of Ages" staging of "At The Hop;" performance of "You Can Never Go Home Anymore;" TV commercial parody of Al Hurt trumpeting on behalf of Swiller's Beer.

PROGRAM #4: All repeat show featuring highlights

PROGRAM #5: Old-time radio vs. modern TV commentary; commercial parody for the "Protozoa of the Month Club;" film of city streets with chuckholes accompanied by music montage; "Rock of Ages" performance of "You Can Never Go Home Anymore;" TV show parody "The Night Show" starring Merv Carson, sponsored by Glory Whip floor cleaner/dessert topping, Frozen Birds Eye's, and Stool Pigeon Bowl Cleaner; rendition of "By A Waterfall" by the Indian Band; and the Cretin Cross Country Meet.

PROGRAM #6: Mouseketeers opening; commercial parody for "Blubber-Be-Gone" reducing aid; "Rock of Ages" performance of "Down in the Boondocks;" Fraternal Order of Wombats banquet; Mouseketeers closing.

PROGRAM #7: "Favorite Things" commercial parody for "Mothers March on Tape Worms," and Fem-Brass capsules; sensitivity class parody; part one of pollution series; "Rock of Ages" performance of "I Get Around;" commercial parody for "Jet Dribble" hose attachment; TV game show parody "You Bet Your Clothes;" and parody of local furniture store TV commercials.

PROGRAM #8: Opening from program's Oratorio Society; TV soap opera parody "Days of Our Weeks;" local clothing store TV commercial parody; second annual underground movie contest featuring "Rosemary's Marshmallows;" "Rock of Ages" performance of "Sidewalk Surfing;" part two of pollution series.

PROGRAM #9: Jackie Gleason-style opening parody; parody of jackpot telephone call promotions; parody of 1959 automobile commercial; "Rock of Ages" performance of "Leader of the Pack;" preview of super hero series "Foul Man;" TV commercial parody for bathtub whirlpool device "Cyclo-Bath;" and performance of "Loving You Has Made Me Bananas. "

PROGRAM #10: Parody of Jiminey Crickett song; "Lovers in the Field" running gag; "The Cretin Picnic;" Rock of Ages performance of "Dead Man's Curve;" Harlem Globetrotters parody; previews for science-fiction film "The Misplaced World;" introduction of underground movie contest winner.

PROGRAM #11: TV commercial parody for climax hammers; "Rock of Ages" performance of "Give Him A Great Big Kiss;" marathon rendition of "MacArthur's Park" with intermission and commercials; parody of home vacation movies.

PROGRAM #12: "Rock of Ages" performance of "Summertime, Summertime; " return of "Let's Make a Swap" TV parody; repeat of "The Danger of the Hazardous Peril" silent movie serial; parody of typical campus movie musical.

Highlights of the 1970 season.